The Simple Truth
Tristan Whisenant ’14
While you were vacationing under a rock, things were happening over the summer. Here are a few of the best highlights in case you missed them: for weeks on end, reporters clustered around St. Mary’s Hospital: peeking in for a closer look, taking bets on the unborn child’s name, gender, shoe size, hair color, and I don’t know- spirit animal? However, someone actually grabbed journalism by the horns when the local town crier burst the baby bubble. Albeit rather sloppily, seeing as he is merely an over-enthused street performer.
- Speaking of news stations being dooped, did you see KTVU’s noon broadcast on July 12th. Yep, not much to really elaborate on there.
- More pictures of Anthony Weiner have surfaced. I even saw one of him and his family posing in front of a blurry Washington Monument. Man, that guy is a master of the sepia and color filters!
- Andrew Zimmerman was acquitted of murdering Trayvon Martin. It was a classic case of “he said he’s dead,” Stephen Colbert put it. Also, Kim Kardashian chastised the ruling- forgetting that her own father was the lawyer who got OJ Simpson off
- Edward Snowden was granted asylum in Russia after days of waiting in the airport. Other countries like Bolivia and North Korea also granted asylum to Snowden. Almost like when you’re playing the board game “Life” and you realize the only places you can live are a mobile home or a trailer park: inevitably bound to retire to “Countryside Acres.”
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