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Finding a prom date: let the Thirsty Games begin

Isa de la Torre'16   Managing Editor

This is it. The most important night of your life, the night that makes or breaks your high school career: prom. We know you've been waiting for it since you were a gangly, awkward freshman still struggling through puberty. Some of your friends have undoubtedly already asked or been asked, and you've begun to wonder whether, you too, should begin the hunt for a suitable prom date. But the truth is, starting four months before prom is simply too late.

Even if you planned your promposal the minute you walked through the doors your first day as a freshman, or even when you shadowed, you're much, much too late. All the good dates have been taken since Ms. Purcell snatched the last halfway decent one shortly before dirt was invented. It was the best cave painting promposal in (pre)history. So, I am sad to say, you are out of luck.

All remaining students who waited much too long and were unable to scrounge together some semblance of prom plans will be entered into our annual Thirsty Games, in which all you desperate teenagers will fight to the death to secure a prom date. Contestants will be selected from all six districts of SI: Popular Marin kids, varsity athletes, theatre kids (possibly even more exclusive than the Marin kids?), weirdoes who actually join academic clubs (like the newspaper, ha nerds), grovers, and finally those kids who you see in the hallway and think to yourself "Do they even GO here??" So for those of you who must fight, prepare your cheesy pick up lines and arm yourself with insincere compliments. And may the thirst be ever in your favor.

A tale of unrequited love

Megan Gamino'16  Managing Editor

We've all been there. It's new. Exciting. You're getting butterflies. You lie to your mom about the nature of your relationship. You all know what I'm talking about--Powerschool.

You've heard whispers in the halls that grades have been updated--the new math test with a ten point curve, the project everyone failed, the homework you know you didn't do but you told your teacher you did anyway. You go to the student center, settle into your chair (with your screen turned to the wall behind you), and open up the website it all comes down to.

Please, please, please. You know the prayer. Saint Ignatius, please let Mr. Bowe put my optional essays online. Ms Sullivan, please pretend you didn't know I did my entire bio scrapbook during X period last week. Powerschool, please love me as much as I love you.

You enter your login and hold your breath as the server loads. It's taking forever. Did you forget to logout of Wildcat Printing? Eventually, the website loads, and you see the new grades.

Okay, okay this is okay. We can get past this. This is only a minor setback. It's not you, it's me. It's literally me. I did this. I did this to myself

Sometimes you gamble on love, and sometimes you lose. Sometimes the one you love says "we're just friends," or "now is a bad time," or "You only got five out of twenty-seven questions right on the APUSH test." It happens to the best of us. So just pick yourself up, keep smiling, and tell your mom that the server is down for maintenance and will be for the rest of the semester.